You really shouldn't have eaten that expired mutagen tablet...

1d20 of Ick:

1. Eye tendrils, flailing all the time
2. Back scales (2"-3"), itchy and molting
3. Constant wheezing from your new, tiny "throat mouth"
4. Sideburns, running down neck, shoulders, ending at wrists (hopefully)
5. A slippery ooze between extremities that won't go away, even with washing
6. Extra teeth! Between your toes...
7. Shoulders begin to bubble and swell into large sacks of leaky, too-sweet smelling fluid
8. "Everything is normal!" say the tiny faces that appear where your kneecaps used to be
9. Iguanna tail sprouts, greens up nicely, turns brown and dies...on an endless cycle
10. Roll twice on this table, if you get #20 both times, you lucked out--no mutation!
11. Knees now bend the other direction, walk like a chicken (add +2 to your move if you roleplay a headbob for the rest of the session)
12. The person on your left gets to pick any two from this list for you
13. Heel hooves! Which are hooves. On your heels.
14. Fancy colored fish fins line your cranium and spine; also, constant dry mouth for some reason
15. Polydactyly protrusions overcome hands, constantly wiggling
16. Gurgling a pungent slime when attempting to make persuasive arguments
17. Narwhal tusk! You know that's a tooth that protrudes through your face, right? 
18. An ankylosaurus tail bursts out the back of your pants---pray you have the abs, back, and calf muscles to counter the added mass
19. Pheromone firestorm gives you a massive +5 Charisma bonus, any NPCs you encounter follow you around for 1d10 rounds
20. All of the above (you poor bastard!)

Happy Halloween!